Humor

WHEN IS IT SAFE TO ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS PREGNANT?

Several years ago I was in our church after a service. Only a few people were still in the building talking, and I was getting ready to turn off the lights.

That’s when I heard it.

My dad cheerfully calling across the room to a woman with these fateful words, “Oh, are you pregnant?”.

The woman who I knew was NOT pregnant didn’t hear the question clearly, so she just as cheerfully asked for the question to be repeated.

That’s when I quickly evacuated the room. I am not sure how the conversation ended, I couldn’t bear to watch.

So if you are one of those people who are still not sure when it is appropriate to ask a woman if she is pregnant, here is a helpful chart. I offer it as a public service to those who need to be protected from themselves.

GET TO KNOW YOUR BIBLE TRANSLATIONS

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from Adam4d.com

WHO IS THE BIGOT?

by Adam Ford:  Adam4d.com

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WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS ENOUGH?

by Adam Ford:  Adam4d.com

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JANUARY WISDOM 1.31.15

On Saturdays in January, the blog will feature some light-hearted words of wisdom

I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.
 Groucho Marx

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

Do not listen to those who complain, for their disease is contagious.  Og Mandino

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.  Mark Twain

He who dies with the most toys is still dead

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
 Arthur C. Clarke

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day

A closed mouth gathers no feet.  Sam Horn

JANUARY WISDOM 1.24.15

On Saturdays in January, the blog will feature some light-hearted words of wisdom

The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.

War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.  William Arthur Ward

When I hear somebody sigh “Life is hard” I’m always tempted to ask “Compared to what?”

The way some people find fault, you’d think there was some kind of reward.

You can’t be late until you show up.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.  Bill Mcglashen

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Make allowances for your friends’ imperfections as readily as you do for your own.  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

People may like a person’s thought for its touching words, but they like him truly for his own deeds touching their heart.   Anuj Somany

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret.   Lawrence J. Peter

JANUARY WISDOM 1.17.15

On Saturdays in January, the blog will feature some light-hearted words of wisdom

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.  Theodore Roosevelt

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.  Oliver Herford

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.  Bill Vaughan

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.  Thomas Sowell

You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.  Albert Einstein

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.  Emo Philips

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.  Henry A. Kissinger

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

JANUARY WISDOM

On Saturdays in January, the blog will feature some light-hearted words of wisdom.

He who laughs last didn’t catch on very fast, did he?

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard

I have not failed in life. I’ve just found A thousand ways that don’t work! 

If at first you DO succeed don’t look too astonished.

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. Isaac Asimov

Keep your eye on the ball, is very dangerous advice.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin

How many observe Christ’s birthday, how few his precepts.  Ben Franklin

THANKS CHILDREN’S MINISTRY WORKERS!

This Sunday we are recognizing, thanking and celebrating our Children’s Ministry Workers.

I think this comic from the Adam4d.com website does a good job of capturing how we feel about these faithful and loving workers at Greentree (click on image a couple times to increase the size)

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IT’S THAT KIDS SUMMER CAMP WEEK FEELING

2014-06-16-vbs2We were thrilled to be able to work with your children this week during our Kids Summer Camp.

And we are just as proud of our many volunteers who are deeply committed to showing Christ to each child that attended.

Yet, as packed as this week has been, we have an exceptional Children’s Ministry staff and program that is in action all year long. Whenever you have an opportunity (at Greentree or at your church), please THANK them, PRAY for them – and just maybe, JOIN them!

The above comic from Adam4d.com honors all who served this week