Misguided masculinity

In the Mother’s Day month of May, I gave women a chance to share their voice on the blog. Now in Father’s Day June, the men will have their turn.

by Frank Hamer

The macho mystique of the 70’s shifted to the emasculation the American male in the 80’s and 90’s – a drift from one horrible extreme to another.

And now as we enter the second half of the second decade of the 21st century our society still struggles with a muddled understanding of manhood.

How is it defined?

Who are the role models?

It seems worse now than before.

We see family structure deteriorated, seemingly beyond rescue, each generation drifting further and further into what seems to be a chaotic state of instability and endless confusion.

But it is really nothing new. When men do not embrace the role that they have been created to fulfill then literally ‘all hell breaks loose.’

“So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” (Genesis 3:6)

Central to the fall is of course Adam’s and Eve’s rebellion to God.

But notice that as they ate together they were both abdicating their God–given and commanded roles: Eve as the helpmate to Adam and Adam as the leader / protector of Eve.

They both sinned, but interestingly scripture refers to Adam’s sin in the garden as the stain on the human race that has brought such great misery.

This points us to the grand importance of proper understanding of what it means to be a man….what true masculinity is.

If we do not have a solid grasp of what manhood is in the scheme of God’s design for humanity then how can we not expect families, communities, societies, and cultures not to fall into disorder.

What is going to get things back on track? The same thing it has always taken – men embracing manhood.

As we look ahead to Father’s Day, let’s not just enjoy the special attention that the day brings our way, but also resolve to make a concerted effort to embrace godly masculinity. Don’t abdicate your role and don’t abuse your role.

A good start might be to get together with other men, young and old, and strike out together to encourage one another and show in word and deed to the next generation of men and women what godly masculine character looks like.

Give this generation something to aspire too.

Frank and Lora Hamer are members of Greentree Church. They were both saved by the grace of God at age 39 and subsequently served together in Volgograd, Russia with Straight Ahead Ministries for 19 years.  They have been married 46 years and have 4 children and 20 grandchildren.  “Thankfully our true identity is not in numbers and service…but in the eternal Christ.”


  • Laurie says:

    I am amazed that I am waking up to this great article. I went to sleep praying for the men of our generation after watching the excellent movie Courageous for the 3rd time. I watched it with a sweet sister in Christ that has been devastated by the ungodly leadership (actually no leadership at all) of her soon to be ex-husband. We both agreed that men are NOT embracing their role and the evidence is everywhere in society and the church. Men, step up to the plate, be strong and courageous, you are equipped by God, he made you for this. Watch the movie with some friends, challenge one another.

  • Dana says:

    Excellent! Thank you Frank.

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